Too long I roam in the night

What foul fate has betroden me, that betwixt education and employment I stand wearily and worn?

***BONUS POINTS*** for no real reason I've made two references to the music and lyrics of a famous musician. Guess who correctly and you are very clever.

Fact 1: Still no job. 
Fact 2: Not even close
Fact 3: Now I have an economic crisis looming
 

Was considering becoming an abbot till I saw what they'd done to Whitby Abbey, the shits. The dissolution ruined all my employment opportunities

I'm in a hairy predicament, having signed on but not getting any money yet. For some reason the clever dicks at jobseekers are demanding my last six payslips before they will pay up. Payslips I can only get in work which I'm going to be at for a week! So when my dole does come up I'm gonna get like 3 weeks worth. What will I do with 150 quid? I'll basically be a millionaire, give us a text if you fancy some kind of exquisite meal out. 

Bearing in mind my overdraft limit is minus 2000, it is scary how rapidly I'm approaching the minus balance millenium. Firmly in the 20th century that is for sure. I'm sorry if you don't get that. Went on a night out on Saturday night, scrimped and scraped and managed to go the whole night on.....£6.60!!! That includes any taxis, chips, entry fees etc. I'm really quite proud. Depressing though. 

Went to sign on last week think I accidentally skipped a massive queue of angry unemployed yobbo's. They didn't notice though. Shit one mind. The more I visit that fine institution the more I feel it would be an excellent location for lifesize Pacman. Or maybe Resident Evil. I haven't really had chance to mention it to anyone yet unfortunately.

Applied for a job on Friday. Really pleased....then realised that the consultant had denied me the chance to get to APPLICATION STAGE. In essence, I was too shit to even be considered giving the opportunity to write how I would like the job. Marvelous. How spendidly grim.

I've realised what needs to be done in order to get a job, perhaps somewhat controversially....we need a nice big crisis like at the BBC, but in my sectors. Don't get me wrong I don't want there to be lots of pedophiles discovered, but a nice employment cull in the heritage sector would do me just fine.

Much of the work I would traditionally find vacancies in has found an automated robotic system that does everything I can do better. Above is a picture of the new model. Quite frighteningly they've given it my face.

Unemployment Fact That I Found Out Today: Job Applications aren't like RPG's - you don't get EXP points for training up.

FIFA Status: Mind numbingly repetitive. The small consolation is that they've finally made Raheem Sterling good. Doesn't get me a job however.

Skyrim Final Fantasy VII Status: I'm but moments away from getting a GOLD chocobo! Oh yeah. Then I will brag about my acquisition of Knights of the Round on application forms.

Running Status: I've become quite adept at this, running up that hill.