Jobzilla

'Chris!', my mind exclaims.

'what?', I reply.

'Chris!', it repeats.

 'I heard you the first time, what's up?' I respond, somewhat frustratingly.

'You should have a job by now.' It mocks.

'...'. 

Above is a representation of my life if it were a very boring and dialogue-heavy novel. Luckily it isn't, but it does demonstrate the state of play at the moment. I'm trucked. Motherducked. Out of luck.

It has, however, been a while since I last posted. Please don't mistake that for positive activity on the job front, its mostly because nothing has happened that I have been unable to creatively explode my unemployment in the format of a brief blog. A summise of the week in 7 words/phrases would go as follows..... confident > rejection > safety-net jobs> rejection > home > broke > teaching.... 

In more words....I've made many applications over the past month that have all had similar deadline dates - around about now. So I had been confident I would get something. One role I thought I would be interview-worthy for turned out to be a clear cut rejection and a back-up, poorly paid job (which would have gained me some experience) also turned out to be a rejection. Then I went home and played chess and saw some folk. And realised how desperately poor I am because JSA seem to have decided to be right nob shines about my dole. Then I decided I'd look into secondary school teaching. I won't elaborate on that because theres nothing to elaborate on to, its still all up in the mind. 

Me and dole-chum Paddy discussing our envy of the working world.

 After my initial success of the £7 night out I've followed it up with two £12 nights out. My desperate poverty will not stand between me and my desire to have some kind of night-life. If anybody wants to buy me a drink as a reward for putting the travails of my unemployment backside on the interweb then that is cool. 

My unemployment soundtrack, Will Smith's seminal album, 'Big Willie Style.'

Look at the extensive prose style I used!

There has been something I've meant to bring to you, my Schadenfreude friends (Had to google that to make sure I spelt it right, oh yeahh). A story from a while back that still has me irked. I, somewhat ambitiously, wrote BBC Radio 4 a letter informing of them of the exciting news that I was unemployed and available to take up work with them. Now I'm not an idiot, I didn't think I'd get a job, but I did figure it would be an alternative way to get in touch with potential employers and get some good advice. Here is the letter I put a lot of effort into and sent them.

My excitement turned sour.

Clearly, a valiant effort by a young dynamic medievalist seeking an entry into a life of broadcasting. This was the long-awaited reply. For those that can't read it it basically says F*** off. The worst part of it???? The worst part was that the CV I sent them they stapled to the reply and returned it to me! They couldn't even be arsed to just chuck it in the bin and pretend it was 'on record.' Their uppance will come, be assured.

Employment Fact That I Found Out Today: Most unemployed people have the small consolation that they can get up at like 11am and lie in. Not me, because my heavenly girlfriend demands that I be as sleepy as her so that I don't keep her awake the next evening. 

Skyrim Final Fantasy VII Status: Just tried to beat the underwater weapon. MASSIVELY FAILED. 

FIFA Status: I am top of the league on legendary as Liverpool! Get in. It is about time I had some luck in my life, I just wish it was in real life.

Running Status: I ran a hell of a lot and now Maizie (a kind of doggy aquaintence of mine) keeps sniffing my knee and she only sniffs us when we are poorly so I think something grim has happened to it.