PESSIMISM

Finally I have returned to writing, I hear you cry. You're crying about something anyway. 

Since my last post I have got a job. lol jk im just as tragically stuck in a rut as I was a week ago! Since then though, many many things have happened. been to the pub four times and won a pub quiz. could make a living off the pub quiz if i traveled about. I've applied for one whole job in the void of blog posts, and that was this afternoon. Gunna be a grant officer man! Though I applied for it twice because I decided to ring to get my foot in the door and my phoney excuse of my employment not being in chronological order turned out to be an actual issue so they suggested I redo it. Now I look like a right nob, unable to understand that January 2008 comes before December 2009. Dang.

One things changed though, now my inbox has become flooded with rejection emails. Mint. 'We regret to inform you that we are not going to be taking your application any further'. Translation.....'It just so happened that we couldn't be arsed to read your application.'. hot damnnnnn. The train people said no, which is a shame because I really like trains. Ive said this before and ill say it again, its one of my two favourite modes of transport, love trains.

One other alteration is my acquisition of an appalling haircut. Not in a punk way just in a look a bit like joffrey out of game of thrones way. plus i shaved on the same day so i look like a little baby child.

Some prize nobhead at Jorvik has set my blog as their homepage......and made it look like I've done it, making me look fully arrogant. OK let's confirm I did not do this. And in the words of taken I will hunt them I will find them and I will kill them. A true blotch on my character. Set the Wii up today in the front room so now when i'm unemployed and doing nothing, everyone can see me playing invisible golf or baseball. Maybe even just dance 2. i wish i could have a man in front of me in a club scenario who told me what dance moves to do and gave me points for getting it right, then id feel a lot more comfortable in willow. 

On the ming-ometer, I've hit the red zone, leaving my jogging stuff on the line to dry. Not to dry because its clean, but to dry because its sweaty and smells too much to go in the house (slash, claudia says it smells too much).bleurgh. Considering adding the Nobel peace prize to my CV on account that I am an EU citizen. Felt good being rewarded for stopping the post-war tensions between France and Germany.

Sat in my own filth at home, I've compiled a list of things that people are supposed to ring me back on but won't. Everyday I look at the list and get a little angry....
1.)BBC Radio 4 (in the most ambitious speculative attempt yet, I sent radio 4 a letter telling them that, yes, indeed, I am available for employment).
2.) Orange (because it turns out that when they sent me the Galaxy S3 the other week they weren't meant to and they've started charging me shitloads for the contract)
3.) Doncaster Library (because I want to work at the local history department dammit!)
4.) all the six million jobs ive applied for

look how much happier everyone else is, they don't understand what its like to have the postgraduate unemployment blues.

I think it is time to go. My original optimism has faded into the dull circle of unemployment. A bitter shadow of myself I must depart, to play on Skyrim or FIFA, I haven't decided yet. You must know however, that these games give me no pleasure, all I want is that one true job. I think I'm gonna try and get Lazio to win serie a. without miroslav klose.

Unemployment fact I found out today: I shouldn't have registered with the University of Hull job vacancy service, they won't leave me alone and told me to apply for a bloody sailing internship.

Running status: Speedy Gonzalez would be jealous

Skyrim Status: Haven't got a job on there either.

FIFA Status: Beginning the trauma that is career mode on legendary.