job is god, job is god.

In the words of Stephen Fry - Good evening, good evening, good evening good evening. Hello everyone. After a small hiatus where I had a bit of work at Jorvik, I am back sat in front of my computer. 

The question on the tip of everyone's tongues - do I have a job yet.....nope. Not yet. Still just bumming around most days. It's cool though. Job applications are getting sent out left, right and centre but to no avail as of yet. One job I applied for had a salary of £27k! Shit the bed that is a lot of money. Imagine that! I obviously won't get that job though on account that it would be a wage increase of approximately 700% on my current salary. 

Otherwise life in the postgraduate unemployment limbo is fairly dull. I've just tidied the holy hell out of the house on account of my mum coming up tomorrow. Today I woke up and decided it would be better to play a zombie game on my phone than get out of bed immediately. Which got me thinking about how I haven't planned an escape route/safety measures to account for a potential zombie scenario. If it's Dawn of the Dead style we'll be cool, but if its 28 days later then we are fecked. So I got to sorting it out. Below is the plan.

Ok so the basic plan is to grab all the food from the kitchen and run upstairs and block the hell out of the stairs. Zombies hopefully won't get in the house but if they do they'll stand on little pieces of lego and all the shit I put on the staircase and give up. Fingers crossed we don't get a zombie apocalypse but should be ok. I need a shotgun though. (It took me fecking ages to make that plan up there so go and take another look at it).

Other things that have happened today include listening to the NME cd of covers of up the bracket by libertines, which is 90% shite except for tribes, spector and mystery jets.

Oh right yeah this is about unemployment. So I volunteered at the village library yesterday which was pretty cool. Renewing books, discharging books, issuing books, putting books away. All that pavlova. Plus I'm going to help out at the local history department at Doncaster central library. The lovely history of Doncaster in what are possibly real quotes.

'built some trains a while ago'

'think robin hood might be from here but he probably isn't'

'forgot most of what happened in the past because someone kicked the shit out of my head in town'

how I expected unemployment would be when I was a student

I'm hoping that there will be some real history as aside from the shit that has permeated into my brain as above. 

I have a strong urge to say 'back to the grind then' but there is no grind to get back to. How unfortunate. 

Unemployment fact I found out today: I only want to buy things when I'm poor.

Running status: prolonging writing this blog so I don't have to go for one

Skyrim Status: pickpocketing the shit out of people

FIFA Status: Proudly taking werder bremen to the german national cup final today.